Thursday, April 9, 2015

The seasons change and so do we

Spring is finally starting to show itself you guys!!!  That is one thing I will really miss when I leave the east coast.  That feeling you get when the weather finally starts to soften.  When the breeze begins to feel warm and the little buds appear, what seems like, overnight.  I took this pic on my walk home from work the other day.  I walk over Rock Creek park and it has been a forest of brown until just this week!

I can't believe this was that same park just a month ago!

So I have definitely been embracing the spring weather, which includes walking to and from work, picnics in the park, and the ability to wear cuter jackets in place of puffy coats.  This weekend, I am going to a friend's annual cherry blossom wine picnic during which we snack and drink wine discretely beneath the cherry blossoms along the tidal basin - it is a gorgeous scene.

The seasons changing reminds me a lot of how much I have changed over the course of the year.  It has left me pondering some things.  I have started to be really open on this blog about my personal struggles with food and body image.  I have also opened up to my close friends and family members.  I have learned that so many women battle similar issues.  But I still have this fear about certain people knowing this about me.  I actually have two slightly conflicting fears that come to mind when I think about talking more about what I have gone through.  I still get scared when I think about more people knowing

1)  I don't want to be perceived as someone with a problem, the perfectionist in me wants me to come across as "having it all together." 

2)  Secondly, I sometimes feel like my issues are not "as bad" as what others have gone through (i.e. I was never severely underweight, I was pretty thin for my body type, but mostly I was just unhappy).  Therefore, my problems are not "legitimate" enough to justify getting on a pedestal and whining about hard it is to overcome eating and exercise disorders (I even still feel uncomfortable using the word "eating disorder" and classifying myself in that way).

But the truth is, I am a work in progress.  I don't have it all together and I simply try to make choices that are best for me each day.  I also am now strong enough to realize that comparing my "problems" to anyone else's problems leads me right into the same comparison trap that got me to a nasty place to begin with.  Everyone deserves to be happy and everyone deserves to get the help they need to be who they are. 

Leaving you with another picture that reminds me of our ability to overcome...

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