This week is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week. NEDA is hosting a series of social media events thoughout the week to promote eating disorder awareness and to provide resources to those who need help.
Just a year ago I wasn't ready to admit that some of my "healthy" habits had become disordered. I was living secretly in a world filled with guilt, shame, and self-hate. And I didn't truly believe that I needed to change.
I had no idea that healthy habits preached by the media and our diet-obsessed culture were hurting me so much.
I had no idea that body love and body acceptance were what I should have been striving for.
I had no idea that working out every day was damaging my body.
I had no idea that I could make it this far. That I could be happy again. That I could eat an indulgent meal with my fiance and truly enjoy it. That I could balance my moods. That I could escape the aches and constant joint pain from all the running. That I could escape the chill that always cloaked my body. That I could clear my brain of the fog that enveloped me. That I could stop weighing myself every day. That I could begin to accept my body as it is and truly believe that I am enough. My journey isn't over, but I am 100x happier today than I was a year ago.
You don't have to be a certain shape to struggle with disordered eating or exercise, and it doesn't look the same for everyone - I still ate (though not enough for the amount I exercised), and most people had no idea of the sadness and anxiety aching inside of me. Even in the healthy-living blog world, over-exercise and restrictive eating is glamorized. It is time for us to change this.
I encourage anyone who thinks that their healthy habits have become detrimental, or if you worry too much about what you eat, to get help. I truly believe that we can heal our relationship with food and our bodies. NEDA is a great place to start. Other resources that have helped to surround me with positivity and the real science behind nutrition are:
The Real Life RD
A Weight Lifted