Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Into 2015

Last night I took a Soul Cycle class (thanks little bro for the gift card).  One of the mantras the instructor repeated was...

"What are you leaving behind and what are you taking with you into 2015?"

Leave it to me to be inspired by a soul cycle class. 

2014 was a big year for me.  I hiked to Machu Picchu, I celebrated weddings, I got engaged.  I watched sunrises, I ate delicious foods, I played in the ocean.  I opened my eyes, I forgave myself, I gained weight.  It is baffling to think about who I was a year ago and how far I have come. 

I thought it would be nice to relive and recap some of the things I am bringing with me into 2015.

1) My fiance (duh)

2) Excitement for the future

3) My body as it is.
4) Family and friends I love

5) An open mind

6) Freedom from restrictions

7) Gratitude

8) The ability to recognize beautiful things every day

New year's resolutions do not have to be actionable goals.  For me, a new year is a new opportunity to open myself up even more.  To be present for every new experience, to accept love from friends and family, and to care for myself and my body.

What are you bringing with you in 2015?


  1. I too am excited for what 2015 has to hold! A big part of me though is very skeptical of it as well because of the weight I gained this past year. I'm working hard at accepting myself but am having a lot of trouble. It's not stopping me from enjoying life but it certainly isn't making enjoyment easy. I fear that I will gain the same amount of weight in 2015 that I gained in 2014, and that's a scary thought. I just have to keep pushing past it and remember what life is really about. I loved reading this list because you always inspire me to keep at it and tell myself that there is so much more to life than what I weight. Happy New Year and I hope 2015 also has two meet-ups like 2014 did!

    1. I can definitely understand that fear. I bought a wedding dress last week and I am afraid that I won't fit into it if I continue to gain weight. But I have been sitting steadily at my current weight for a few months now, and I can tell that I am not hungry all the time, and I haven't had to over-think my food choices at all. I actually took almost a week off of exercise and lost weight! So I think that once you hit your set point that fear will diminish more and you can just trust your body to self-manage (remember that it is smarter than you). Your set point, even if it is higher than your current weight, is certainly not much higher. You honestly look great, you are kind, funny, and you inspire people every day.

  2. I just found your blog and I love it! I can't wait to read more. I admire your honesty in your writing. I hope to find more info on your blog (since I've only read the past few posts) about gaining weight and gaining life. I am in a place right now where I am choosing to stop disordered eating habits and gain weight even though a part of me doesn't want to (because I am not super underweight and people compliment my size). I hate feeling like I am constantly missing out on living. I want to experience life instead of just always looking forward to eating and binge eating. Have you ever struggled with binge eating or just looking forward to eating- like the only enjoyment in life is food?

    1. Hi Karla, thanks so much! I am glad you like it, that means a lot! I was never severely underweight either, and compliments fueled my obsession. Over several years I fell deeper into a hole of self-hate, sadness, and a mindset completely consumed with food, exercise and my body. It has been a long road to let go and re-discover who I am, but it has been 150% worth it! I didn't binge eat in that I never felt out of control, but I ended up eating a lot more at night because I restricted more in the mornings. Basically I was completely consumed with eating healthy and meal planning, and many foods were forbidden. I saw everything as a math equation and I lost my ability to focus on the amazing life I was given. It was exhausting and I wasn't happy. It is really hard to get out of the cycle but I am so proud of you for deciding to make a change! It gets easier and easier, I promise! It is especially hard when you don't feel like you classify into a certain "category" of eating disorder. I just knew something wasn't right - the dieting mindset in general is such a slippery slope. Wishing you all the best, I know you can do it :)