I never really thought about my wedding growing up like some girls do. Or even prior to getting engaged. Well, maybe in a broad sense, like what it would be like to walk down the aisle and who I would chose as bridesmaids... but not the specifics, like the dress, colors, and flowers. Okay, okay... I will admit I watched "Say Yes to the Dress" and "Four Weddings" pretty religiously, but only because those shows are terribly entertaining.
But this has become my new weeknight thing -
I will admit it's almost like a switch has been turned on and I am really excited thinking about all the planning - like picking the colors, thinking of cute details and decor, bridesmaid dresses, and all that stuff.
Many newly-engaged women also set a goal to lose weight for their wedding the day they get engaged. Enroll in bridal boot camps, order their dress a size too small, and swear off desserts until their wedding day.
But my fiance was with me back in the days when my obsession with being thin made me a terrible companion. He was with me when I was perfectly slim and svelte by society's standards. He was with me when he had to walk on eggshells in fear that I would have a meltdown over our dinner options. He was with me when I jumped from our cozy bed every morning to run for miles away from him.
On the night we got engaged a few weeks ago now, he said "You are back to the person you were when we first fell in love... And I am so happy."
He wants to marry me as I am now. He wants to share ice cream with me, and he wants me to love my body as much as he does, and he wants to lay lazily in bed with me.
He wouldn't understand why I would ever want to change anything about myself.
And I think I finally agree with him. I want to be me on my wedding day, whatever shape that may be, and I want to celebrate every day of being engaged to the love of my life, with lots of cocktails, desserts, and lazy mornings.