Wednesday, October 29, 2014

The Perfect Body

The perfect body is every body because every body is alive (unless the body is dead, of course).
A body is not perfect because of its shape, it is perfect because it is constructed so seemingly deliberately and intricately.  The body and its marvelous capabilities rival any new technology.  Its ability to process food as fuel, to sense millions of different smells, to keep decade-old memories, to learn languages and communicate, to feel deep love for someone else, to make babies, to run for miles and sleep for hours, to dream, to sing, to cry, and to laugh so hard it makes others cry.

Every body is perfect.

To learn more and sign the petition to ask Victoria's Secret to pull this campaign visit,

On a separate note, I haven't posted in a couple of weeks, I think because I have been feeling really good about things and I haven't had any need to rant or express myself.  Today my salad from Sweetgreen was way overdressed - something that would have caused a breakdown a year ago, actually no, a year ago I would have ordered it without dressing...  But today I felt a small twinge of stress about the dressing until I took a bite and realized how delicious the creamy goodness slathered over mounds of avocado, egg, and chicken actually tasted.  Then I devoured the whole thing and wiped up the extra remnants with the bread they give you.


Saturday, October 18, 2014

Sharing my Story

I am honored to be a contributor this month to Psychology Tomorrow Magazine.  Read about how my healthy habits became obsessive and disordered...and when I realized I wanted my life back.

Thursday, October 9, 2014

I'm Becoming That Girl

I never really thought about my wedding growing up like some girls do.  Or even prior to getting engaged.  Well, maybe in a broad sense, like what it would be like to walk down the aisle and who I would chose as bridesmaids... but not the specifics, like the dress, colors, and flowers.  Okay, okay... I will admit I watched "Say Yes to the Dress" and "Four Weddings" pretty religiously, but only because  those shows are terribly entertaining.

But this has become my new weeknight thing -

I will admit it's almost like a switch has been turned on and I am really excited thinking about all the planning - like picking the colors, thinking of cute details and decor, bridesmaid dresses, and all that stuff.

Many newly-engaged women also set a goal to lose weight for their wedding the day they get engaged.  Enroll in bridal boot camps, order their dress a size too small, and swear off desserts until their wedding day.

But my fiance was with me back in the days when my obsession with being thin made me a terrible companion.  He was with me when I was perfectly slim and svelte by society's standards.  He was with me when he had to walk on eggshells in fear that I would have a meltdown over our dinner options.  He was with me when I jumped from our cozy bed every morning to run for miles away from him.

On the night we got engaged a few weeks ago now, he said "You are back to the person you were when we first fell in love... And I am so happy."

He wants to marry me as I am now.  He wants to share ice cream with me, and he wants me to love my body as much as he does, and he wants to lay lazily in bed with me.

He wouldn't understand why I would ever want to change anything about myself.

And I think I finally agree with him. I want to be me on my wedding day, whatever shape that may be, and I want to celebrate every day of being engaged to the love of my life, with lots of cocktails, desserts, and lazy mornings.

Monday, October 6, 2014

I'm a Soul Cycle Convert

Right across from my office is the brand new Soul Cycle in DC.  It is impossible to avoid passing it at least twice a day, and it'd hard not to stare at the fit crowd of enthusiasts.  I knew I wanted to try it eventually, but as a frequent spinner, I labeled it as a cliquey cult-like version of the classes I love at my local gym.  A marketing masterpiece with little substance.

Tonight I went with a group of coworkers to cash in on the first-class-discount and give it a chance.

I left a changed woman...

I have been to a lot of group fitness classes.  So many of them are focused on changing your body, competition with the person next to you,  levels of exertion you must reach, instructors who tell you that you aren't working hard enough.

But not here.

As I walked into the studio it was like entering a concert hall, and my excitement built for the show to start.  Staff walked around to make sure everyone's bikes were set up.  The instructor was on the mic announcing the minutes until start time.  Then the lights dimmed, the candles lit up, the music thumped through my body and my adrenaline fired me right into the first track.  I knew as soon as I took off, legs spinning, that this was definitely my kind of workout.

The instructor's confidence and energy was contagious.  Judgement was gone, this was about focusing in on ourselves.  It was about pushing our bodies in a way that felt good and in a way that was fun.  It wasn't about changing anything, it was about letting go, being yourself, being enough.  It wasn't about our bodies, it was about our spirit and it was about facing challenges in our own way.  It wasn't about competition, it was about feeding off each others energy.  There were no calorie counts, levels, RPMs, it was about listening to your body and pushing yourself to your own limits.

At one point the instructor even said "you are enough as you are right now."  One of my favorite mantras :)

I know my pocketbook cannot possibly afford to make this a part of my regular routine, but I think its worth the splurge every now and then.

Have you ever tried Soul Cycle?

What do you like/don't like about group fitness?